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Kids leaving home for the first time?
This can be a really anxious moment in our parenting. We've had our chance to impart knowledge, skills, and wisdom, and now it's time to let them use what they've learned.
Will they do it well?
Will everything be OK?
What am I going to do without them?
Is a giant hole going to open and swallow me up because I'm not needed anymore?
There are two parts (at least) to this story. One is that we worry about them heading out into the world to make their own decisions and have their own experiences. We worry about the things that can go wrong. We wonder if we've done enough to prepare them for all of this. We can have the desire to try to control this fledgling process. It makes sense. We've tried so hard, invested so much of ourselves in our children, and we so want goodness for them as they begin their lives.
The other part of this story is that our relationship with our kids is changing. We are releasing more control, we are stepping back to watch them fly. This is a difficult stance to take. We shift from guiding to encouragement. But it requires a trust we might not always feel secure in, and a willingness to let them fumble a bit to find their own footing. How do we know when to step in and when to step back? How do we care for our own feelings and opinions when we're trying to let them find theirs? Who are we without active parenting?
The metaphor of fledging is more apt than we might even realize at first glance. In my fieldwork days I watched hundreds of bird parents fledge their young. This workshop is built around what I learned from them, as well as an inquiry about how to translate bird knowledge into our uniquely human lives.
In this workshop I will tell short stories of the process of fledging as I've witnessed it. Then we'll spend a little time writing for ourselves about what this might look like with our particular kids in our particular situations. There will be time for sharing if you like, but it's not required.
Will they do it well?
Will everything be OK?
What am I going to do without them?
Is a giant hole going to open and swallow me up because I'm not needed anymore?
There are two parts (at least) to this story. One is that we worry about them heading out into the world to make their own decisions and have their own experiences. We worry about the things that can go wrong. We wonder if we've done enough to prepare them for all of this. We can have the desire to try to control this fledgling process. It makes sense. We've tried so hard, invested so much of ourselves in our children, and we so want goodness for them as they begin their lives.
The other part of this story is that our relationship with our kids is changing. We are releasing more control, we are stepping back to watch them fly. This is a difficult stance to take. We shift from guiding to encouragement. But it requires a trust we might not always feel secure in, and a willingness to let them fumble a bit to find their own footing. How do we know when to step in and when to step back? How do we care for our own feelings and opinions when we're trying to let them find theirs? Who are we without active parenting?
The metaphor of fledging is more apt than we might even realize at first glance. In my fieldwork days I watched hundreds of bird parents fledge their young. This workshop is built around what I learned from them, as well as an inquiry about how to translate bird knowledge into our uniquely human lives.
In this workshop I will tell short stories of the process of fledging as I've witnessed it. Then we'll spend a little time writing for ourselves about what this might look like with our particular kids in our particular situations. There will be time for sharing if you like, but it's not required.